From Internship to Reality: My Personal Struggle with Post-Success Depression
We often hear a lot about the mental health struggles during tough times, but what about after success? There's a growing conversation about something that might seem a little surprising: post-success depression. It’s the feeling of emptiness, confusion, or even sadness that can occur after achieving something big – whether it’s landing a dream job, completing a long-term project, or hitting a personal milestone. I never expected it, but after finishing my internship and passing the Certification Board for Music Therapists (CBMT), I found myself experiencing this very thing. Despite everything I’d accomplished, I felt stuck, questioning why I couldn’t celebrate my wins like everyone else. I couldn’t quite shake the feeling that I wasn’t experiencing the sense of achievement I thought I would after working so hard to get there.
Society loves to celebrate wins, but it doesn’t always acknowledge the emotional rollercoaster that can follow. In this blog post, I want to dive into what post-success depression is, why it happens, and how we can navigate it. I hope that by sharing this, others who might be feeling the same way won’t feel so alone in their experience.
What is Post-Success Depression?
Post-success depression is the emotional letdown that some of us feel after reaching a long-term goal or milestone. In the world of music therapy, that might look like finishing your six-month internship, passing the CBMT, earning your degree, and beginning your career in the field. We often expect that hitting these big moments will bring a sense of happiness, fulfillment, and peace – but for me, and for many others, that just didn’t happen. Despite the joy that should come with success, it’s not uncommon to feel lost, disappointed, or unsure of what’s next. I had planned my whole life for that moment, and when I finally reached the peak of my goals, I was left feeling… well, kind of adrift. If you’ve ever felt something similar, it’s important to know that this kind of depression isn’t a sign of failure or weakness. It’s simply how our minds and emotions react to a shift in energy after accomplishing a potentially life-changing event.
Why Does Post-Success Depression Happen?
Several factors may contribute to post-success depression. These can vary from person to person, but here are two key reasons that I related to:
The "Letdown" After Achievement: The journey toward success is often exciting and filled with hard work. Many interns may relate to the challenge that comes with completing a six-month internship, where you must not only complete tasks and assignments but also hone your technical skills through provided feedback as you step into the role of a professional. Then you’re expected to pass the CBMT, also full of its own obstacles, with the pressure to succeed for yourself and all the individuals who supported you in your journey. Though these experiences may be demanding, they gave me a sense of purpose and direction. Yet, once I reached my goals, the “high” of success quickly faded, and I was left feeling empty.
Pressure to Keep Up the Success: Success often comes with the pressure to keep up or even outdo what is expected of us, and that is especially true following an internship. When preparing for the CBMT, I was often reminded of what was at stake. Perfect Harmony Health was a fantastic internship program that had adequately prepared me for the exam, so much so that all of their previous interns had passed it on their first try (not an easy feat, I assure you). Walking into the test, I felt I had so much to prove, not only for myself but for the legacy of my program and all those who had passed before me. The fear of not living up to that success may benefit you in the short term, but if continued, it can lead to feelings of anxiety, stress, and even burnout. Success can start to feel tied to who we are, too. When a big goal becomes such a core part of our identity, it’s easy to feel lost or unsure of ourselves once that goal is achieved.
How to Cope with Post-Success Depression
While post-success depression can be tough, there are strategies to manage and navigate this emotional challenge. Here are some tips and strategies to help individuals cope:
Embrace the "Down Time": After completing my internship, I had a whole month before starting work. I often felt bored and lazy, but I eventually realized that maybe I just needed more time to reconnect with myself. I had to remind myself that feeling empty after a big achievement is normal and that it’s okay to process those emotions without being hard on myself. Sometimes, permitting yourself to slow down is exactly what you need to start healing.
Redefine Success: Instead of focusing only on external markers of success, take a moment to redefine what success means for you on a personal level. Ask yourself: How can I feel fulfilled beyond checking off achievements? Is there joy in the journey itself, not just the outcome? It’s about finding the meaning i the process and celebrating the moments along the way.
Set New Goals: The "what now?" feeling can be a bit overwhelming, but setting new, meaningful goals can help bring back that sense of direction. They don’t have to be ad big or ambitious as the ones before, just something you look forward to and a reason to keep moving forward. Even small goals can bring a lot of purpose and help you get back on track.
Celebrate the Achievement: Don’t skip over the celebration phase. Though you may feel down, surround yourself with “cheerleaders” or people who genuinely support and encourage you. Sometimes you need others to vocalize how amazing you are so that you can feel the success that you achieved. It’s those people who lift you and help you keep moving forward, even when you’re feeling stuck. And if you’re over the age of 21, go get that drink. You deserve it.
Accept Imperfection: Life has its ups and downs, and it’s completely okay not to feel on top of the world after a success. Accepting that things don’t always have to be perfect can take the pressure off and help you stop expecting constant joy after every accomplishment.
Post-success depression is a real and valid experience that many people face. Achieving a major milestone doesn’t always guarantee happiness, and the pressure that comes with success can be overwhelming. By acknowledging the complexities of success and mental health, we can begin to take better care of ourselves emotionally and mentally in both the pursuit and aftermath of our goals.
If you’ve ever felt a sense of emptiness after a success, know that you are not alone, and it's okay to take a step back and reflect. Success is not just about the destination, but how we manage our well-being along the journey.
